I'm probably jinxing myself, but I can finally say I am in a place of happiness. I don't believe that the goal of life is to necessarily pursue happiness, as I think pursuing God is way more important.With that being said, no one complains when God gives them an extra dose of happy in life.
Having a job that has a lot of alone time has taught me a few things:
*I am not in control, there's someone much bigger than me making all of this happen.
*Hard sh!t makes you stronger. Two dead batteries in our cars, a teething baby, surprise hospital bills...at the time, I thought each of those things were the end of the world. So much crying and uncertainty. But just like gold is refined in a fire, I believe we are refined by the difficult times in our lives.
*YOLO---I am not saying this as an excuse to eat whatever I want and do whatever I want. YOU DO ONLY LIVE ONCE. So I am going to treat this body, this temple the way I think God wanted me too. Eating well, getting off my couch, and killing other people with kindness.
*Being a mom is tough. Showering more than 2x a week is a challenge. I no longer judge those yoga-pant loving mommies. The old me deeply apologizes. I had NO idea how difficult being a mom was. I used to say "I'm not going to let myself go when I have kids." Someone should have slapped me. I haven't "let myself go". My priorities have just changed. And I am thankful. I was and probably still am an extremely superficial person.
*PLANS WILL CHANGE----AND THAT'S OKAY. This is probably the best thing that I've learned. I hate change. I have obsessive compulsive disorder. So it's natural for a change in routine to make me go insane. Even something as simple as having to use milk instead of half/half in my coffee can bring me to tears. But so many things this year have NOT gone according to plan, that I am learning to just deal with it.
I've recently become obsessed with TV shows about Alaska. Especially Alaskan Bush People. I admire the way their family works, I admire their imagination, I admire the fact that they can make something from nothing. I admire that they don't know what an iPhone is. My favorite quote so far from Billy--the dad, is "Drop a tree on us and we'll make firewood."
Just imagine not using Google for every single question we have. I mean, really. I use Google a LOT. Recipes, trying to find out that one guy from that one show, how to start a garden, etc.
There's nothing necessarily wrong with Googling all the things...I love the internet for that. I just worry that I'm trading my creativity and imagination for a Pinterest-perfect closet and home. My mom always told me to "just be yourself". I've also been told that I am incredibly weird. We are all weird in our own ways...and I really fear that being online too much is going to take that weirdness and just make us all the same.
I want to start figuring things out on my own. Figure out how to build things, play more music, and use this brain in my head for more than typing something in a search bar. I didn't mean for this to turn into a full on rant...whoops.
So ANYWAYS. Things are going well. And we are having fun.